True love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to love an imperfect person perfectly.

I’m not going to lie – I find myself questioning everything going on in my life right now, especially God.

How much heartache and pain must I go through?

Why must I have a hard time else where in life right now ON TOP of other stuff?

What am I supposed to learn from this experience?

Don’t get me wrong, I do not for a minute take for granted what’s going right for me (health, loving and caring friends and family) – but one man, even strong willed such as myself can only deal with so much.

I often feel this huge weight pressing down on my head, making everything that much tougher on a daily basis.

I can’t seem to make any headway lately.

Just last night I realized how much I miss my life from ten years ago. I was somewhat worry free, rode my motorcycle everywhere and had very little drama in my life. Most importantly, I’d be able to talk to Mom and ask her for advice on a way out of this mess.

Oh. Lest I forget I’ll be thirty soon. Blech.

I am another year wiser, some would argue stronger, but I feel like it’s a front to the pain and anguish that I hide inside.

My family and I use one another for strength this time of year, and it happens twice during the month of July – once on the 20th and again on my Mom’s birthday the 29th.

While I battle internally with the heartache of that loss, I struggle with a separate emotional issue, and something I’ve not written about here at all.

God, the universe or even my Mom allowed me to meet the greatest woman in the world less than a year after her passing. We went through a ton together, got an apartment, got engaged and then it happened – confusion, love fading, fear – whatever you want to call it, she left me.

We spent the summer apart, eventually started talking again and would rekindle our relationship in October. Life has a funny way of playing games with you, because it was only temporary I’m afraid. We separated again in April, didn’t speak for three months and have started to speak again. We met up to talk a week ago, she dressed up in a cute dress, her skin was glowing and she had a smile that lit the room up – exactly the way it did the first day we met. It was a great night, I just don’t know what to make of it.

Seeing her for the first time in months was awesome, I felt (and still feel) the same way about her as I did that fateful afternoon at Englishtown Raceway – she is THE one, the only one – the person I am destined to spend my life with.

I struggle to trudge on through my life without her, hoping it’s only temporary – but it’s hard to put thoughts and feelings on the back-burner. I don’t think either of us know what to do, and I would regret not giving her however many chances she needs, if I didn’t.

My love and devotion is unwavering, it is true and just. I close my eyes and I see myself with nobody else, and that is the hardest part of all.

I have been negative about so much in my life up to this point, I have a hard time being anything but positive about this. Worst of all, I need Mom’s advice more than anything – I know she would have put her boots on and gotten to whatever Sam is struggling with, that’s just who she was and one of the many reasons why I loved her.

One day, I hope I’ll look back at this and know I’ve grown because of it. You have to know what it’s like to be hurt, before you can experience the great things in life – at least that’s how it appears to me.

I fully intend on making some posts here shortly, but I wanted everyone to know that I needed to swap servers and the move is now complete. If anything seems funky, let me know.

The idea for a beer blog (I already purchased a really great domain name) came during one of my recent trips to a craft beer festival. These craft beer festivals are much akin to wine tastings, you walk around a big convention center with a small beer stein and go booth to booth tasting different breweries beers. It makes for a pretty interesting day and a great chance to try out some of the lesser known breweries out there. It’s not really a secret that I enjoy writing, so this is yet another chance to incorporate some of my favorite activities and give tasting beer either at a restaurant, microbrewery or a beer festival a more work-like feel to it.

I have another project for my friend Jeremy that I need to start first – it’s something that needs to be done ASAP, so I will start the beer site in the next few weeks. I am excited about it – it should be a fun experience and a great website.

I don't remember the last time I have felt as refreshed as I have over the last few days. I did spend 5 super-duper days in sunny Florida, so it could be because of that.

Florida is always awesome, I played some poker (shocker there for those who know me), golf, hung with family and took in the 11th Annual Danny Foundation Golf Tournament.

Afterwards, we hung out with a group of people we hadn't seen since last year. Drinks were flowing – it was vacation ya know. It took a few nights of hanging out before someone mentioned – "Uh, so why don't we hang out at home again?” >>Fast Forward….

This past Saturday I did something I don't do enough – I hung out with a group of people I didn't really know that well – and had a blast. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends – but it's nice to hang out with some fresh faces now and again.

So, to John, Michelle and Amy, thanks for inviting me out for Michelle's b-day – I really did have a great time with you guys and your friends. Hopefully Sam can escape the evil grasps of that Cablevision Corp. and hang out next time!

This summer should be a good one.

Let's see…

I FINALLY got my dimploma from school. Seemed they thought I owed them a balance, but I did not. They kept my dimploma untill I raised holy hell.

My cousin Shawn got married last weekend – had a great time. I uploaded a bunch of pictures into my gallery. Check it out:

http://www.tek-nics.com/gallery2/v/Shawn_and_Mels_Wedding/

Comments are turned on for this album, comment link is at the top right. I will see what I can do about relocating this.

I also uploaded the family drinking song, because all of my cousins are requesting to download it:

http://www.tek-nics.com/movies/drinkdrink.mpg (Right click save as…)

That's about all I can think of right now – some interesting things in the works, including some minor site updates.

Isles will beat the Rangers 6-2 tommorow, making their playoff race really interesting…

I feel so free today. Although school technically ended on Tuesday, I just couldn't seem to get my work done on time. I handed in an essay 2 days late – but because I had a great grade – I wasn't penalized…..

I am now officially done. I will get my diploma in a month or so and will know my GPA shortly. Before these 3 final classes, I had a 3.85.

I feel so great, like a huge weight was lifted. This is perfect timing, right for the holidays and everything.

Look for me to clean this place up….?

Also look for more posts from me over at Truckblog.com and Musclecarblog.com!

This almost feels like vacation!

How long untill the police department? It depends – ill keep you posted of course.

Cheers!
Mike

I just got back from Turks and Caicos, I was there for 8 days for work – yes, work. I did not pay a dime out of pocket for anything, but it was an experience that will hopefully improve on the next trip.

I have a few pictures of the place we worked, I don't know if I should call it a house because it is about 4,000 sq.ft.

Also, I am done with school TUESDAY!

After two long years, I will finally be finished and have my associates shortly. The free time will be put to good use – the site needs some updates.

I guess that's all for now.

Cheerio!

It's been a few months of inactivity, but you can probably guess that I have not had much time to myself. Between work and school, and bad luck….time hasn't been on my side.

I am almost done with my current semester of school, which would leave 2 semesters and 5 classes left untill graduation.

I should have a short period of free time (about a week), but not enough to do any super site modifications.

At least the site is in working order

Till the next post…